I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
