i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
