oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
