i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
