so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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