he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
