porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just want nice things and good sex
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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