Don't you send me to vm
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
