when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
