Someone shit on the floor
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
