Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
