i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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