she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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