The maid of honor just puked.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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