butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
organizing the empties. That sober.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
