I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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