Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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