Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's like iHOP with fire
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
