Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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