Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
