So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
