that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
