i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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