oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
