Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
