I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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