that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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