this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
