Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
