: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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