we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
