no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
