If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
