whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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