he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
