Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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