..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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