WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I understand Curling. That high.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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