In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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