There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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