the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
