the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
