I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
