You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
