Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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