There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
