oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just forgot I was standing up.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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