I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
