So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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