I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
