Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
