I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
